Back to School Stress: How Parents and Kids Can Cope with the Transition

The Stress of September Is Real

Every September, I (Monica) hear: “We finally got into a summer rhythm, and now everything is changing again.”

I know the feeling personally too. As a parent, the start of the school year brings excitement: new outfit, sharpened pencils, the sense of a fresh start. But it also brings late-night labeling of school supplies, racing to set alarm clocks, and kids (and parents!) who aren’t quite ready to trade lazy mornings for rushed routines.

This is back to school stress. It’s not just in your head. Research shows that transitions, even positive ones, are among the most stressful events families face (Compas et al., 2017). When routines shift, our brains interpret it as uncertainty, which naturally spikes stress and anxiety.

Why Kids Feel Back to School Stress

• Separation anxiety: Younger children worry about leaving parents or caregivers.

• Social concerns: Who will be in my class? Will I fit in?

• Academic pressure: Older children may stress about grades, homework, or extracurriculars.

For many kids, these worries can show up as stomachaches, trouble sleeping, or irritability.

Why Parents Feel It Too

Parents aren’t immune. Back to school means:

• More complex morning routines.

• Juggling drop-offs, pick-ups, and extracurricular schedules.

• Financial stress from school supplies, clothing, and activities.

• Emotional stress watching kids struggle or worry.

To add to the list, many of us are now being asked to return to the office more frequently. That shift often means giving up established morning routines (like walking the dog, exercising, or taking time for personal care) and replacing them with time spent commuting by car or bus/train. These changes can add another layer of stress to an already busy season.

Strategies for Parents to Reduce Stress

1. Start with sleep
Sleep is the foundation of mental health. One or two weeks before school starts, adjust bedtimes gradually. Research consistently shows that well-rested kids perform better academically and emotionally (Owens et al., 2014).

2. Hold a family meeting
Gather everyone to talk through expectations like homework rules, screen time, and morning routines. Kids who feel included in decision-making are more cooperative.

3. Share responsibilities
You don’t have to carry it all. Split school prep tasks with your partner, older children, or extended family. Even young children can pack their backpacks or choose clothes.

Helping Kids Transition Smoothly

Validate feelings
Instead of saying, “Don’t worry,” try: “It makes sense you’re nervous about a new teacher. Lots of kids feel that way.” Validation helps kids feel safe.

Encourage confidence
Remind kids of past successes: “Remember how nervous you were last year? And you ended up loving your class.” This builds resilience.

Create rituals
Anchor the transition with something positive: a pancake breakfast on the first day, a family photo, or a fun after-school treat.

When Stress Becomes More Serious

Sometimes stress lingers. If your child is consistently refusing school, complaining of stomachaches, or experiencing overwhelming worry, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder rather than “normal jitters.”

Therapy can help children and parents learn practical coping strategies, reduce anxiety, and restore balance at home.

Back to school is more than just a logistical shift; it’s an emotional one for the whole family. While stress is normal, it’s also manageable with preparation, empathy, and intentional routines. And remember: kids take their cues from us. When parents approach transitions calmly and confidently, children learn to do the same.