What Are Your Triggers? Part 1: Anxiety

Last Updated on March 22, 2022 by admin

Do you know what makes you anxious? Feeling scared, insecure, overwhelmed or worried can happen for lots of different reasons. While some universal situations such as a job interview or a going on a blind date may bring up these emotions, what makes you anxious will be highly individual to who you are as a person.

Let’s take Lisa as an example. Lisa moved frequently in her elementary school years because of her parents’ work. As a young girl, she dreaded going to a new school and having to introduce herself before a class full of new faces. Fast forward 15 years, now in her career, her boss asks her to do a presentation to new clients. One week before the presentation, Lisa starts to experience headaches, racing heart, forgetfulness, and crying spells. She eventually calls in sick on the day of the presentation.

Here’s another example. Farah’s mother was frequently ill when Farah was growing up. This made Farah nervous about possibly losing her mother. One day, Farah’s partner catches the flu and this makes Farah very anxious. Her partner’s illness triggered the anxiety she already had about losing a loved one to an illness.

So anything could be a trigger; it could be a set of circumstances, an object, a person, or bodily sensations. Sometimes we know what the source of anxiety is, but many times this is not a conscious process because we would rather not think about that which gives us discomfort. It’s important to know what your triggers are because this can help you be prepare when you are triggered and you can identify things you can do to calm your anxiety. If Lisa knew that speaking in front of a group of strangers brings up childhood dread, she could have taken steps to prepare or even speak with her boss about it to get appropriate support. If Farah understood that seeing a loved one fall ill evokes the fear of losing them, and therefore possibly being abandoned, she could have calmed herself by reminding herself a person is not likely to die from a flu.

Now some of you may wonder, “If you’re feeling anxious, you should avoid that at all costs if you can, right?” This may sound counter-intuitive, but research indicates that the more one avoids that-which-gives-you-anxiety, the less time you spend with it and the scarier it becomes. What initially started as a small “bug,” grows over time in the wild shadows and becomes a big “monster” because you avoid them for so long. The only way to keep that bug small is by shining a light on it and facing it.

If you are already dealing with a monster (e.g., Lisa’s severe anxiety around speaking in front of a group of people), the way to do it is to start out small, maybe watching others give a presentation, practising alone, then practising with a small, trusted group of friends. Therapists call this “exposure therapy”. Starting small and working your way up can help you be more successful at facing the anxiety, and eventually changing your relationship to it, as you slowly build confidence one step at a time.

The more you come to understand your triggers, the more you are going to want to immediately change it. Be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge and accept that you can only do so much. The “monster” did not grow that big overnight and it will take time for it to shrink back.

First, try to notice it; observe it with curiosity and kindness. You might say something like this to yourself: “Oh, there is _________ (anxiety).” Then acknowledge and accept it: “I am experiencing _________ (anxiety).” And try to understand it. The best way to start understanding your anxiety is by learning more about how triggers work. For example, try filling in the blanks: Whenever ___________ (situation or event) happens, I feel ___________ (emotion), which can then lead to ____________ (a behaviour and/or other related emotions). If you know what your anxiety triggers are, you can prepare yourself better and engage in soothing practices to help yourself.