Finding Connection and Reflection During the Holidays: Mental Health and Spirituality
The Holidays as a Double-Edged Sword
Every December, I (Monica) hear the same paradox in my therapy office. One client told me, “I love the holidays — but I dread them at the same time.” She was looking forward to lights, traditions, and family dinners, but also carried grief for her father, who had died the year before.
That’s the reality for many: joy and sorrow mixed together. The holidays magnify emotions.
Why the Holidays Can Feel Stressful
One father told me he dreaded Christmas morning. Not because he didn’t love his children, but because the pressure to “make it magical” left him exhausted and anxious. Another client admitted she avoided holiday gatherings because she couldn’t face the questions about her singleness.
Financial strain, family dynamics, and cultural pressure to create “perfect holidays” all add layers of stress.
Finding True Connection
I once worked with a couple who realized that their most meaningful holiday memory wasn’t a lavish party, but a night they spent snowed in with hot chocolate and a board game. That year, they made a choice: fewer events, more presence.
True connection isn’t about doing more; it’s about being more present. A meal without phones, a quiet walk in the snow, or even an honest conversation by candlelight often bring more meaning than any big event.
The Role of Spirituality
For many, the holidays are anchored in spiritual traditions. Returning to church, prayer, or family rituals can ground us. I think of one client who, after years away from her faith community, attended a Christmas Eve service. She told me afterwards, “It was the first time I felt peace all month.”
Research supports this: spirituality is linked to resilience and well-being (Pargament, 2013). Whether it’s prayer, meditation, or gratitude practices, spirituality can reframe the season from chaos to renewal.
The holidays can be stressful, but they can also be sacred. Slowing down, reflecting, and choosing connection makes December more than a calendar of obligations; it becomes an invitation to renewal.